Regrets & Nostalgia

 A thought that's been on my mind a lot lately is, "I'd rather regret not being there, than regret being there."

I have (to me) a pretty big milestone this year; it's my 40th high school reunion, which will take place this weekend. For clarity, I now live 8 hours & two states away from where I grew up. 

I attended my 20th & 30th, but I've been having second thoughts about this year. At first, I felt excited, yet with some trepidation. By this past weekend, it was much trepidation, but very little excitement. Last Saturday night, I made the decision not to go. 

As with most things these days, the decision boils down to the current political climate. At the time of my 30th reunion, Trump had not been elected for the first time. Now, 10 years on, the world has changed, hopefully not irrevocably.

That said, due to social media, I have learned things I didn't need to know about my classmates and others. I've had people I grew up with attack me on Facebook because I disagree with everything about the current occupant of the Oval Office. I've had to unfriend and even block some people from those days to get them to leave me alone. In some cases, people I'd known since kindergarten. 

I was honestly concerned there would be physical confrontations, and that's a shame. 

I held my classmates in a special place in my mind, if not in high regard, heh heh. We went through 6 years of high school together (junior high and high were at the same school), and in some cases, we'd gone from kindergarten to senior year together. We grew up in a small town. 

There are some people that the only reason we're friends is due to nostalgia. Our lives have nothing in common anymore, except where we grew up and went to school. 

Unfortunately, some of them never left the small town, and it shows. Some who did leave have changed, and not for the better. Or maybe it was always there, and we didn't see it because there was no social media. 

There are some people I'll genuinely miss seeing at the reunion, but that regret doesn't outweigh my trepidation for attending. There are some people who aren't attending that I'd really like to see, and that weighed on my decision as well. If it's meant to be that we see each other again, we'll cross paths. On the other hand, I'd rather remember some people as they were prior to 2016, rather than as they are now. 

I wish my classmates and friends from home nothing but peace, prosperity, and happiness. That will never change. But I'm also not going to put myself in a position to be disappointed and regretful of my decision to attend. It's a shame, but it is what it is. 

2025 Reading Journey

I've been keeping track of my reading in a notepad on my phone for several years now. It works well enough, but doesn't provide the detailed stats I'd like to track. In 2026, I'll begin to track on Goodreads as well. 

This past year, with the exception of a couple of books, I read mostly fiction. I also read 5 daily meditation books, which I'll list first. 

I read a mix of eBooks and print, and while I own the majority of the books I read, I also borrowed some from the library this year. From January through mid June, I didn't read the same author twice, which I thought was pretty cool. 

Without further ado, here is my 2025 literary journey:

(I read 30 books in 2024)

Daily Meditation Books:

Daily Reflections
24 Hours a Day
Beyond Belief
The Daily Stoic
The Daily Dad

(All the rest, in order from January - December)

You Are a Badass, Jen Sincero

Station Eleven, Emily St John Mandel

The Lost Art of Reading, David Ulin

Hyde, Craig Russell

Project Hail Mary, Andy Weir

A Botanist's Guide to Parties & Poisons, Kate Khavari

Killers of a Certain Age, Deanna Raybourn

The Trap, Ava Glass

Dark Space, Rob Hart & Alex Segura

Spook Street Mick Herron

Nicked, M. T. Anderson

Crown Jewel, Christopher Reich

Fetch Quest, Sandy Parker (Novella)

Chaos Terminal, Mur Lafferty

The Book of Doors, Gareth Brown 

Starter Villian, John Scalzi

The Spare Man, Mary Robinette Kowal

The Road to Roswell, Connie Willis

The Sleepless, Victor Manibo

Bullet Train, Kotaro Isaka

The Midnight Library, Matt Haig

The Lost Apothecary, Sarah Penner

Red Rabbit,  Alex Grecian

America Fantastica, Tim O'Brien

The Deep Sky, Yume Kitasei

Imaginary Friends, Alison Lurie

Winter Work, Dan Fesperman

Mr. Breakfast, Jonathan Carroll

The Master and Margarita, Mikhail Bulgakov

Secret Identity, Alex Segura

Murder Your Employer,  Rupert Holmes

Sourdough, Robin Sloan

The Standardization of Demoralization Procedures, Jennifer Hofmann

Spring's Arcana, Lilith Saintcrow

Marion Lane and the Midnight Murder, T.A. Willberg

The Eldritch Arms, Barry Gregory (novella)

The Medusa Protocol, Rob Hart

The Salt-Black Tree, Lilith Saintcrow

Ninth House, Leigh Bardugo

The Atlas Six, Olivie Blake

A Botanist's Guide to Flowers & Fatality, Kate Khavari

Kills Well With Others, Deanna Raybourn

Three Assassins, Kotaro Isaka

I'm Beginning to Worry About this Black Box of Doom, Jason Pargin

When The Moon Hits Your Eye, John Scalzi

The Once and Future King, T.H. White 

Artificial Condition, Martha Wells

Rogue Protocol, Martha Wells

Exit Strategy, Martha Wells

The Escape Artist, Brad Meltzer

The Stardust Grail, Yume Kitasei

The Keeper of Lost Causes, Jussi Adler-Olsen

Marion Lane and the Deadly Rose,  T.A. Willberg

Rose of Jericho,  Alex Grecian

The Lightning Rod, Brad Meltzer

Of Monsters and Mainframes, Barbara Truelove

The Cat Who Saved The Library,  Sosuke Natsukawa

Ring Shout, P. Djéli Clark

The Society of Unknowable Objects, Gareth Brown

London Rules, Mick Herron

Infinite Archive, Mur Lafferty

Thief of Night, Holly Black

The Glass Hotel, Emily St. John Mandel 

Alter Ego, Alex Segura

Floating Hotel, Grace Curtis

Arkangel, James Rollins

Midnight in Soap Lake, Matthew Sullivan

Hell Bent, Leigh Bardugo

Sheepdogs, Elliot Ackerman

Origin, Dan Brown

Bury Our Bones in the Midnight Soil, V.E. Schwab

A Botanist's Guide to Society and Secrets, Kate Khavari

The Mantis, Kotaro Isaka

Home, Martha Wells (short story)

Network Effect, Martha Wells

Rapport, Martha Wells (short story)

Marion Lane and the Raven's Revenge, T.A. Willberg

The Marlow Murder Club, Robert Thorogood

Atlas of Unknowable Things, McCormick Templeman 

The Curse of Penryth Hall, Jess Armstrong

The Secret of the Three Fates, Jess Armstrong

The Devil in Oxford, Jess Armstrong

The Librarians, Sherry Thomas

The Thursday Murder Club, Richard Osman

Constituent Service, John Scalzi (novella)

The grand total for 2025 comes out to 83 books, 3 novellas, & 2 short stories. 

Since I've been keeping track (say, the last 10 years), this is my most productive year of reading, by far. My previous best was 42 books several years back, so I'm very pleased with my progress in 2025. I didn't spend as much time trying to decide what to read next last year. In previous years, I'd waste days agonizing on that decision. 

Here's to a 2026 full of literary adventures!