'Merica 250!

Today is a very special 4th of July. Two hundred fifty years of these United States. And yet, the Worst President in the History of the US is reigning like a modern day Nero, enriching himself on the office, while our freedoms shrink away. Unless you're a white, heterosexual male MAGA, of course. And Trump will eventually oppress them as well. It's only a matter of time. 

Lee Greenwood, he of the patriotic one hit  wonder 'God Bless the USA', sang, 

"I thank my lucky stars
To be living here today
'Cause the flag still stands for freedom
And they can't take that away

And I'm proud to be an American
Where at least I know I'm free"

The problem is, our freedoms, our very rights, are being stripped away. If a right can be denied, then it was never a right, it was a privilege. 

In the Declaration of Independence, Thomas Jefferson wrote, 

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

Unalienable Rights! Unalienable!

For instance:

The right to read what you want.
The right to marry who you want. 
The right of bodily autonomy.
The right to be who you are, authentically you. 
The right to peacefully protest. 
The right to be a person of ANY color in the US. 
The right of equality for ALL. 

Some of the above were not Jefferson's intentions; he was, after all, a man of his time. However, they are now. And they should be defended and upheld as ideals to share with the world. 

Our rights, our very freedoms, are being trampled daily as the heavy cloak of oppression sweeps our country. The gleeful hate from Christian White Nationalism has tested our government, and found its defenses sorely lacking. Too many seemingly good people have fallen under the sway of their False Idol. I pray that they may recover their senses when he's gone. 

We once aspired to be the Shining City on the Hill; a worthy goal. Together we can rise up, shake off the shackles of Hate & Oppression, and restore our land, our birthright, these great United States of America. 

Let FREEDOM Ring! 

A Higher Calling?

 Occasionally, I have given thought to running for office. City or County Commission, something local. But those thoughts always end the same way: my past is too checkered and I don't have a poker face, nor the temperament to suffer the slings & arrows of the public. Which is a shame. 

The public wants real change in politics, but the path to public service is difficult. I doubt I'm alone in not wanting oppo research to tear apart my life looking for flaws, even on a local level. We've all seen what it's like on a state & national level.

I've also watched so many candidates over the last few election cycles who talked a good game and seemed to have popular support, only to be soundly defeated in the polls. Or worse, become John Fetterman. But I digress.

Voter engagement seems to be at an all time low, after seeing how dysfunctional government has become. I believe we suffer from voter apathy as well; what's the point of voting for this shiny new candidate if nothing is going to change?

And then there is the question of trust in the government. As far as I'm concerned, the Federal government should support State governments, which should in turn support Local governments. But that is decidedly not the case. The Federal government is doing it's best to hurt half the states, while not even managing the affairs of the Country. State governments are ignoring, or worse, harassing, Local governments of the opposite party (looking directly at you, Florida). 

From the President to the local dog catcher, governments should be about making the country a better place for its residents. They should be making citizens lives the best they can possibly be. Not trying to crush citizens while further enriching the obscenely wealthy. 

There are tangible, if pie-in-the-sky, things government could do to make the lives of it's citizens better, some of which are already being done elsewhere. First & foremost, universal healthcare. Medical debt, insurance, and medication costs are crushing the average American. Any minor illness, or heaven forbid, major illness or emergency, could bankrupt a family or individual, even if they have insurance. Politicians should not have better healthcare than the average citizen.

Next, would be true equality. All colors, all sexes. Also, stay out of our bedrooms & reproductive rights. 

Next, Universal Basic Income. (this would be the pie-in-the-sky suggestion) 

I do believe the US could be the 'shining city on the hill' if we could stop hating each other, and if people of character were elected to office, and if the corrupt politicians (all of them in both parties) were ejected. 

 What do you think? 

Reflections

 The blank page is daunting; I've been staring at it for a while. I've started two posts so far today & deleted them both. I probably should have saved them as drafts so I could adapt them. I plan to continue this blog at least monthly, if not more frequently. 

The other day, I shared a post on Facebook which stated, "I think if March 2019 me and March 2026 me sat in a room, they wouldn't believe each other."  I have no doubt that's true, because while I still recognize 2019 me, 2026 me is an entirely new construct. 

In March of 2019, I was about 6 weeks sober, and diligently working the steps (for the first time) with my new sponsor. Members of my family weren't talking to me, with good reason. I was also about 3 months into a new career in a brand new field for me. In short, I was a mess. 

March 2026 me has a lot of empathy and even respect for that guy, because from that humble beginning, a new life has bloomed. I have had many blessings and heartbreaks over the course of these last seven years; my life has changed in ways minuscule & profound.

One of the main changes in my life is consistency & routine. For the most part, my life is mundane. I go to work, I go to the gym three days a week, I go to meetings, and I go home. 

There have been triumphs and tragedies to get to today and I've been able to be present through them all. Others can count on me to be there. Do I wish certain things had turned out differently? Of course, I don't think I'd be human if I didn't. But I can only control my reaction to outside forces.

Some of the blessings sound like brags, so I won't talk about those. But I've been able to navigate so many situations that would have baffled March 2019 me. My familial rifts have been repaired. In 2020 at a high point of the Pandemic, I was reunited with a son I never thought I would meet again (and his wife & children, my grandchildren!) My step daughter asked me to officially adopt her in 2024. I have also been able to be there for my wife, and another daughter & son when they had troubled times. 

March 2026 me is established in the new career from 2019, and in my recovery community. Life isn't always easy, but it's light years different from where I was in March 2019. 

I am truly grateful. 

Keep on keepin' on, friends. 

P.S. As of today, I'm on book 20 of 2026.

Oppression & Hope

The conundrum I face every day is that, while the US is headed down the path of dissolution or worse, I'm doing OK. But I can clearly see that the problems of the US, and the state where I live (Florida), are slowly encroaching on my little bubble. 

In the short term, I worry for my friends. Used to be, I might've said I worry for my BIPOC friends, because of the immigration roundups, and rampant racism from the President on down. But now, with ICE killing US citizens with impunity, I worry for ALL of my friends. The murders of Renee Good and Alex Pretti are proof that none of us are safe. And I suspect it'll only get worse. 

Next, the rule of law and common decency mean nothing to the rich & powerful in the US. Certain people may be resigning from their corporate jobs due to the Epstein scandal, but no one is being arrested. Not in the US, at least. And the people at the top? The person inexplicably mentioned so much in the Epstein files that they should be renamed the Trump files? Nothing. NOTHING will happen to him. He has stacked the deck with his sycophants in positions of power in law enforcement, so he's untouchable.

What really bothers me about all of this is the "Christians" who support him. Still. After everything. He is the antithesis or everything religion teaches, and yet they still support him. I do see the cracks beginning to show with some people, but it's not enough, and will never be enough to break his hold on his MAGA base. 

The one thing I cling to is this: When he dies, and he will, MAGA will fall apart. Sure, they will try to maintain, but no one will exert the hold on them that Trump has. Can you see anyone bending the knee to JD Vance after he sends a mean social media post? No. There isn't anyone in Trump's orbit who will command the fear necessary to run roughshod over the Republican Party or MAGA. Also, when he dies, his name will disappear from buildings, airports, etc. He won't be forgotten, but he will take his rightful place on the trash heap of history.

As far as my state is concerned, Oh, Florida... The best Democrats can put forward for Governor this year is David Jolly, a former Republican? Are you kidding me? Florida has been under Republican control for so long, I don't know what it would be like to have a Democratic Governor. We haven't had one since I moved here in 2000. The House & the Senate are also controlled by the Republican party. I happen to live in a blue dot that's being targeted because we're blue. The will of the people means nothing to these politicians in Tallahassee. 

Beyond the day to day worry of far right wing politics encroaching on our lives, I also worry about the world that we'll leave to our children & grandchildren. I see climate change in the extreme weather we're experiencing year round these days, and not only are we not trying to mitigate the effects of climate change, our current government is doing everything in it's power to make it worse. 

I know I'm suppose to "Rage, rage against the dying of the light", but I've been doing that since 2016. I'm tired, boss. Almost every headline is an affront to decency & sensibility. I know that there is good in the world. I know that there's good in the US. It's not even outnumbered. It's just out of power, and can't figure out how to attain leadership. I have to keep that in the forefront of my thoughts.

I'll cling to hope. And I'll keep raging against the machine.  For myself and everyone else. 

Keep Trudging,

Bobby

Regrets & Nostalgia

 A thought that's been on my mind a lot lately is, "I'd rather regret not being there, than regret being there."

I have (to me) a pretty big milestone this year; it's my 40th high school reunion, which will take place this weekend. For clarity, I now live 8 hours & two states away from where I grew up. 

I attended my 20th & 30th, but I've been having second thoughts about this year. At first, I felt excited, yet with some trepidation. By this past weekend, it was much trepidation, but very little excitement. Last Saturday night, I made the decision not to go. 

As with most things these days, the decision boils down to the current political climate. At the time of my 30th reunion, Trump had not been elected for the first time. Now, 10 years on, the world has changed, hopefully not irrevocably.

That said, due to social media, I have learned things I didn't need to know about my classmates and others. I've had people I grew up with attack me on Facebook because I disagree with everything about the current occupant of the Oval Office. I've had to unfriend and even block some people from those days to get them to leave me alone. In some cases, people I'd known since kindergarten. 

I was honestly concerned there would be physical confrontations, and that's a shame. 

I held my classmates in a special place in my mind, if not in high regard, heh heh. We went through 6 years of high school together (junior high and high were at the same school), and in some cases, we'd gone from kindergarten to senior year together. We grew up in a small town. 

There are some people that the only reason we're friends is due to nostalgia. Our lives have nothing in common anymore, except where we grew up and went to school. 

Unfortunately, some of them never left the small town, and it shows. Some who did leave have changed, and not for the better. Or maybe it was always there, and we didn't see it because there was no social media. 

There are some people I'll genuinely miss seeing at the reunion, but that regret doesn't outweigh my trepidation for attending. There are some people who aren't attending that I'd really like to see, and that weighed on my decision as well. If it's meant to be that we see each other again, we'll cross paths. On the other hand, I'd rather remember some people as they were prior to 2016, rather than as they are now. 

I wish my classmates and friends from home nothing but peace, prosperity, and happiness. That will never change. But I'm also not going to put myself in a position to be disappointed and regretful of my decision to attend. It's a shame, but it is what it is. 

2025 Reading Journey

I've been keeping track of my reading in a notepad on my phone for several years now. It works well enough, but doesn't provide the detailed stats I'd like to track. In 2026, I'll begin to track on Goodreads as well. 

This past year, with the exception of a couple of books, I read mostly fiction. I also read 5 daily meditation books, which I'll list first. 

I read a mix of eBooks and print, and while I own the majority of the books I read, I also borrowed some from the library this year. From January through mid June, I didn't read the same author twice, which I thought was pretty cool. 

Without further ado, here is my 2025 literary journey:

(I read 30 books in 2024)

Daily Meditation Books:

Daily Reflections
24 Hours a Day
Beyond Belief
The Daily Stoic
The Daily Dad

(All the rest, in order from January - December)

You Are a Badass, Jen Sincero

Station Eleven, Emily St John Mandel

The Lost Art of Reading, David Ulin

Hyde, Craig Russell

Project Hail Mary, Andy Weir

A Botanist's Guide to Parties & Poisons, Kate Khavari

Killers of a Certain Age, Deanna Raybourn

The Trap, Ava Glass

Dark Space, Rob Hart & Alex Segura

Spook Street Mick Herron

Nicked, M. T. Anderson

Crown Jewel, Christopher Reich

Fetch Quest, Sandy Parker (Novella)

Chaos Terminal, Mur Lafferty

The Book of Doors, Gareth Brown 

Starter Villian, John Scalzi

The Spare Man, Mary Robinette Kowal

The Road to Roswell, Connie Willis

The Sleepless, Victor Manibo

Bullet Train, Kotaro Isaka

The Midnight Library, Matt Haig

The Lost Apothecary, Sarah Penner

Red Rabbit,  Alex Grecian

America Fantastica, Tim O'Brien

The Deep Sky, Yume Kitasei

Imaginary Friends, Alison Lurie

Winter Work, Dan Fesperman

Mr. Breakfast, Jonathan Carroll

The Master and Margarita, Mikhail Bulgakov

Secret Identity, Alex Segura

Murder Your Employer,  Rupert Holmes

Sourdough, Robin Sloan

The Standardization of Demoralization Procedures, Jennifer Hofmann

Spring's Arcana, Lilith Saintcrow

Marion Lane and the Midnight Murder, T.A. Willberg

The Eldritch Arms, Barry Gregory (novella)

The Medusa Protocol, Rob Hart

The Salt-Black Tree, Lilith Saintcrow

Ninth House, Leigh Bardugo

The Atlas Six, Olivie Blake

A Botanist's Guide to Flowers & Fatality, Kate Khavari

Kills Well With Others, Deanna Raybourn

Three Assassins, Kotaro Isaka

I'm Beginning to Worry About this Black Box of Doom, Jason Pargin

When The Moon Hits Your Eye, John Scalzi

The Once and Future King, T.H. White 

Artificial Condition, Martha Wells

Rogue Protocol, Martha Wells

Exit Strategy, Martha Wells

The Escape Artist, Brad Meltzer

The Stardust Grail, Yume Kitasei

The Keeper of Lost Causes, Jussi Adler-Olsen

Marion Lane and the Deadly Rose,  T.A. Willberg

Rose of Jericho,  Alex Grecian

The Lightning Rod, Brad Meltzer

Of Monsters and Mainframes, Barbara Truelove

The Cat Who Saved The Library,  Sosuke Natsukawa

Ring Shout, P. Djéli Clark

The Society of Unknowable Objects, Gareth Brown

London Rules, Mick Herron

Infinite Archive, Mur Lafferty

Thief of Night, Holly Black

The Glass Hotel, Emily St. John Mandel 

Alter Ego, Alex Segura

Floating Hotel, Grace Curtis

Arkangel, James Rollins

Midnight in Soap Lake, Matthew Sullivan

Hell Bent, Leigh Bardugo

Sheepdogs, Elliot Ackerman

Origin, Dan Brown

Bury Our Bones in the Midnight Soil, V.E. Schwab

A Botanist's Guide to Society and Secrets, Kate Khavari

The Mantis, Kotaro Isaka

Home, Martha Wells (short story)

Network Effect, Martha Wells

Rapport, Martha Wells (short story)

Marion Lane and the Raven's Revenge, T.A. Willberg

The Marlow Murder Club, Robert Thorogood

Atlas of Unknowable Things, McCormick Templeman 

The Curse of Penryth Hall, Jess Armstrong

The Secret of the Three Fates, Jess Armstrong

The Devil in Oxford, Jess Armstrong

The Librarians, Sherry Thomas

The Thursday Murder Club, Richard Osman

Constituent Service, John Scalzi (novella)

The grand total for 2025 comes out to 83 books, 3 novellas, & 2 short stories. 

Since I've been keeping track (say, the last 10 years), this is my most productive year of reading, by far. My previous best was 42 books several years back, so I'm very pleased with my progress in 2025. I didn't spend as much time trying to decide what to read next last year. In previous years, I'd waste days agonizing on that decision. 

Here's to a 2026 full of literary adventures!